Stupid Wife-Beater?

You know, an abused wife is a lot like a little kid learning how to ride a bike. He tells himself he will tame this bike. He sees this bike, and it looks just great. He can’t wait to take this bike home and learn how to ride it. Everyone tells him, “Bobby, that bike is trouble, I can just tell.” And little naive Bobby’s response is, “No, no, it’s a great bike, trust me.” He starts trying to ride the bike, and tries to learn to ride it with no one around. “I can handle this all by myself” he says. He starts riding it, and he falls off. It hurts. The bike has betrayed him, this bike that he loves so much, how could it do such a thing? And so he keeps at it, and every day he has a new bruise or a new scrape. The kids at school ask him how he got those bruises. But of course he’s embarrassed. He doesn’t want the kids at school to know that the bike he had been bragging about for so long is the cause of his injuries. He hides them and says “Oh, I fell down the stairs, and then the cat scratched me, and uh…my dad hit me with a frying pan cause I said mom’s hamburgers taste like shit.” The point I’m trying to make is: there is nothing wrong with spousal abuse. Granted, like anything else in the world, it doesn’t go too far. If a woman is getting smacked around a bit by her husband because she ruined his jeans, or didn’t have dinner on the table when he got home, or she was talking while her husband was watching TV, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If the woman truly didn’t like it, she would leave. I think that women who are abused by their husbands enjoy it, even though they don’t realize it. At first it is a bit scary, because they don’t know exactly why it is that their beloved husband is hitting them. But deep down they know that their husbands know that they enjoy being smacked around. “Spousal Abuse,” as it is so callously referred to by the media and those retarded women activists (which let me point out, what a horrible name it has, because it is not abuse at all, I’ll get to why that is) is no different from a football or hockey player. People that play contact sports like football and hockey end up with the same kinds of bumps and bruises that a “battered” wife gets from her “abusive” husband. And every once in a while a football or hockey player gets really badly injured, which is no different from “spousal abuse.” (Alright, here’s the deal. It may not sound like a proper terminology, but from now on I’m going to refer to it as Wife-Hittery, because I think spousal abuse is such a shitty term that makes no sense, and putting in the quotes every time I type it is getting kind of annoying.) So yeah, like I was saying, hockey, football, and wife-hittery are no different. The participants do it because they love it, even though they know that they are most likely going to end up with bumps and bruises, and in the very rare occasion, they could be killed. Now the guy that ends up killing his wife, he certainly had not intentions of killing his wife, the same way a bank robber has no intentions of killing any of the hostages, or a football player never intends to kill or maim any of his opponents. The bank robber and the wife-hitter don’t want to go to jail and get slapped with a murder charge. But, in the heat of things, you do things that you wouldn’t normally do, and people get killed. Now the guy that kills his wife, I have no sympathy for this guy. He had it good, a wife who did what he said, and put up with the beatings that he so loved to give her, and lord knows she so loved to receive. But you gotta be smart. Don’t kill people. That’s just plain stupid. And don’t put your wife in the hospital with a really bad injury. Otherwise, who is going to cook dinner, and look after the kids, and let you smack her around? Now, the kids are another story. They are like the spectators at a hockey or football game. They are not really willing participants in the game of wife-hittery, or hockey, or football. Just like a football player shouldn’t, for no reason, jump into the stands and start beating on a fan, the husband should never start hitting the kid, for no good reason. However, if the kid wants to stand there and watch, and cry, or what have you, while his mother is being beat by his father, he runs the risk of being hit with a broken shard of glass, or being trampled over while he wrestles her to the ground, just like how a fan at a hockey game is liable to get hit by a puck that flies over the glass (before that stupid fucking net was installed!!) or a fan at a football game might get trampled by a guy who tackling another guy and slips on some Gatorade that spilled onto the field, or turf, or whatever. The point is, if the kid doesn’t want to get hurt, he can stay in his god damn room with a pillow over his head to drown out the sounds of his mom screaming (with delight, from being beaten.) To sum up, there is nothing wrong with beating your wife, granted that you don’t kill her or horribly injure her. And never hit your kid on purpose. If he gets in the way and gets hurt, it’s his own fault. That doesn’t mean that it’s not kinda sad, the same way someone getting killed by a flying puck is sad, but hey, it’s part of the game.